The Film Babble Blog Top 10 Worst Movies Of 2007

Oscar season is now officially over and we've basked in the glory of a great year for film for long enough so now it's time to look at the not so great movies of 2007. Actually "not so great" is being too kind - these were wretched evil slabs of celluloid sent from Hell to taint our collective unconscious and will make us all pay a higher psychic price than we can possibly imagine (as the late great comedian Bill Hicks would say). So let's warm our hands on the fire as we throw these movies back to from where they came one by one:

1. WILD HOGS (Dir. Walt Becker)

Hard to believe this was one of the biggest box office hits of the year. It's a CITY SLICKERS-ish mid-life crisis tale with motorcycles instead of horses padded out with bathroom humour, gay-panic jokes, and tired stupid sitcom plotting. We're used to seeing Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence, and even John Travolta slumming it in such unfunny cinematic crap but why did William H. Macy and Marissa Tomei have to be dragged down with them? Read my original review here.

2. REDACTED (Dir. Brian DePalma)

This has been a really bad year for films about the Iraq war with audiences staying away from both documentaries like NO END IN SIGHT and dramas like LIONS FOR LAMBS. Of course it doesn't help the cause when the movie is actually really bad like DePalma's misguided horribly named unaffecting mess REDACTED. Through the conceit that the fictional (though based on a real incident) tale of a troop in Samarra who are involved with the rape and murder of an innocent 14 year old Iraqi girl and the killing of her family is told by one of the soldier's hand held videocams, fake cable TV footage, and simulated YouTube clips we just get the same old bottom line: War Is Hell. Worse yet this obnoxious exercise comes across like it's more down on the troops than the war.

3. Tie: GHOST RIDER (Dir. Mark Steven Johnson) / NEXT (Dir. Lee Tamhori) A Nicholas Cage double whammy! Actually if I had seen the sequel to the awful NATIONAL TREASURE that came out last December this may have been a triple whammy. In NEXT a clever Philip K. Dick short story is awfully adapted into a boring by-the-numbers action movie formula while GHOST RIDER takes its comic book source and well...also awfully adapts it into an equally lame action movie. Come on Cage! We all know you have another ADAPTATION or WILD AT HEART in you, so why do you have to keep giving us this pap? Read my original review of GHOST RIDER here.

4. THE NUMBER 23 (Dir. Joel Schumacher) This is the stupidest film in Jim Carrey's entire career and with a filmography that includes the ACE VENTURA movies and especially DUMB AND DUMBER that is really saying something. As a wise-cracking dogcatcher who starts seeing the number of the title everywhere and they start piling up as clues to a long unresolved murder. Wait! It gets stupider - read my original review here.

5. FACTORY GIRL (Dir. George Hickenlooper) A vicious disapointment in the department of biopics of C-List celebrities. Sure, model and 60's "It girl" Edie Sedgewick (played by Sienna Miller) was a wasted vapid Warhol groupie but she deserved better than this putrid portrait. My review is of course, right here.

6. 1408 (Mikael Håfström) John Cusack in a hotel room from Hell. That's pretty much it. Want more of a description of the Stephen King derived suckitude contained within? Click on this.

7. SHOOT ‘EM UP (Dir. Michael Davis) At one point Clive Owen says: "You know what I hate? I hate those lame action movies where the good guy calls just one person who ends up betraying him." Me? I hate lame action movies like this. Even one in which ace actor Paul Giamatti (talk about slumming it!) plays the bad guy. After CHILDREN OF MEN Owen must have hesitated to do another 'save an important baby from evil forces' movie but maybe he just decided that the price was right. I never reviewed this bombastic blockbuster wannabe for good reason.

8. YEAR OF THE DOG (Dir. Mike White) I like former SNL cast member turned film lead actress Molly Shannon. I like the supporting cast including Regina King, Peter Scaarsgard, John C. Reilly, and Laura Dern. I like screenwriter/director Mike White. Also I like dogs. But I really didn't like this awkward indie comedy and by the end of it wanted to put it to sleep. Read about how it rubbed me the wrong way here.

9. BUG (Dir. William Friedkin) A ridiculous conspiracy minded thriller with hammy overacting and silly twists. Normally I love ridiculous conspiracy minded thrillers with hammy overacting and silly twists but Friedkin really doesn't bring it here. Read my review of the DVD here.

10. THE TEN (Dir. David Wain) A sketch comedy film without a single laugh. Paul Rudd, whose smug detachment helps him walk off unscathed from this dreck, is the presenter of 10 vignettes ostensibly based on the morals of the 10 commandments featuring the usually reliable members of comic ensembles from the TV cult favorites The State and Stella who have all done good funny work before. WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER this ain't. My original review? Never wrote one - in fact this is the most I ever want to write about this mean minded offensive unfunny doggerel. Next time I won't mince words.

More later...

Just Some More New Release DVDs – No Big Whoop

Yep, some more recent DVD viewings are now blog-worthy:

RESCUE DAWN (Dir. Werner Herzog, 2006)

"Inspired by true events in the life of Dieter Dengler" so says the credits at the beginning. After some basic-training back story, this film wastes no time - on his first tour of duty in 1966 Vietam Dengler's (the yet again reliable Christian Bale) shot down over Laos within the first 10 minutes; 15 minutes in he is captured by the enemy. He refuses to sign a war criminal document and is dragged, literally, to a Viet Cong camp to be held captive. That's what the bulk of this story is about - his and a few other fellow inmates (including the dead on and almost dead looking Steven Zahn and Jeremy Davies) tortuous imprisonment where there thoughts of escape are discouraged as futile from every angle. Dengler doesn't think so and plots to overcome all obstacles. Obviously this story wouldn't be told if he didn't do just that - so no accusations of spoilers please. With its gripping storyline and clarity of vision RESCUE DAWN has a lot going for it but is bogged down with unconvincing dialogue and Herzog's choice of fast fades that make this choppy where it should be fluid. "The quick have their sleepwalkers, and so do the dead" Bale says early on in his captivity and it falls flat - really not provoking much of a reaction. Perhaps because this film seems to sleepwalk all too quickly into oblivion.

HAIRSPRAY (Dir. Adam Shankman, 2007)

It would be hard to dump on this one. Though I have friends who are big fans of the original John Waters 1988 movie and its soundtrack, then the 2002 Tony winning Broadway musical adaptation and its cast recording, I didn’t understand why a new film version (with its soundtrack) was necessary – I mean wasn’t this pretty much covered? But this movie is so damn cheery – earnest and smiling right at you without a cynical frame on any of its reels that questioning or dismissing it makes one feel like a Blue Meanie. The most enjoyable of the cast is Nikki Blonsky (who fits into Rikki Lake’s shoes perfectly) as Tracy Turnblad. Blonsky is a triple threat who she out-sings, out-dances, and yes, out-acts everybody here. As the perky beyond belief Tracy she causes a stir on a local Baltimore American Bandstand type show in 1962 when she exclaims that “everyday should be Negro day” (the show only had one day a month that black kids were allowed to dance on the air). With her angsty-acting friends (Zac Efron, Ellijah Kelley, and Amanda Bynes) behind her, they plot to take over the program to sing the praises of progress and integration.

The supposed trump card here is - taking over the part from the legendary Divine - John Travolta in drag (including a fairly realistic looking fat-suit) but he and husband Christopher Walken as Tracy’s parents never rise above the level of SNL sketch caricatures. Travolta, who looks ridiculous and has an awful weirdly accented voice, is never believable as a woman but his shenanigans somehow breeze by. Queen Latifah fares better with some of the most sincere soulful singing here on some of the best songs though like the movie itself most of the set-piece musical numbers go on too long. In a movie where just about every older face is familiar (Michelle Phieffer as the villainous TV producer, and in incidental roles - Paul Dooley, Jerry Stiller and Allison Janey) it’s really the youngsters show – especially Blonsky and Kelley. If you love musical romps you’ll love it. Me, I have a mild aversion to romps but I have to admit that HAIRSPRAY is adequately amusing.

CIVIC DUTY (Dir. Jeff Renfroe, 2006)

Peter Krause, best known for playing Nate on Six Feet Under (HBO 2000-2005), is a downsized accountant who thinks a new neighbor (Khaled Abol Naga), whom he refers to as “that Muslim guy”, is a terrorist plotting destruction from his tiny apartment. Effectively crisp and creepy first half but the second half desolves into a worn out scenario – i.e. a hostage situation. Krause is a lot like his former character Nate – only more of an asshole; likewise Richard Schiff as a unsympathetic FBI agent is playing only a slight variation on his cynical Toby Ziegler part from The West Wing. What could have been a sharp cinematic study of post 9/11 paranoia is just another regular guy goes crazy and alienates all of society plot. I’m sure somebody has said this before but I liked this movie better the first time – when it was called ARLINGTON ROAD.

Now, this is more of my kind of romp:

HELP! (Dir. Richard Lester, 1965)

Superintendent (Patrick Cargill): "So this is the famous Beatles?"
John (John Lennon): "So this is the famous Scotland Yard, ay?"
Superintendent: "How long do you think you'll last?"
John: "Can't say fairer than that. Great Train Robbery, ay? How's that going?"

A seminal film I saw many times in my youth reissued yet again - this time in a 2 disc DVD edition in fancier packaging than before * and it's nice to have. Though the extras are inessential - the 30 min. documentary is fine but who's going to watch a featurette about the film's restoration process more than once? The movie does look better than I've ever seen it - sharper with much more vivid color. Colour (British spelling) was pretty much its only original gimmick - The Beatles now in full colour! Their first feature, black and white of course, A HARD DAY'S NIGHT is widely regarded as a classic, one of the best rock 'n roll movies ever, blah blah blah while HELP! has been almost lovingly dismissed. I'll say this - A HARD DAY'S NIGHT may be the better film but HELP! is a lot more fun. It captures the group right before they discarded their cuddly mop-top image and became another entity all together and it makes a strong case for their oft overlooked mid-period music as well.

* It is available also in a collector's edition with book of the screenplay, lobby card reproductions, and a poster that all retails at $134.99!

The plot? Oh yeah, some ancient mystic religion hunts down laconic but wacky drummer Ringo Starr and his mates because he happens to be wearing their sacrificial ring. They hunt him across the globe with locations in Austria and the Bahamas (simply because the Beatles wanted to go there so it was written in). Along the way they play (or more accurately lipsynch to) a bevy of great songs - the title track, the Dylan influenced "You've Got To Hide Your Love Away", "Ticket To Ride", and George Harrison's unjustly underrated "I Need You" among them.

Watching it again I remembered why I loved it so much as a kid - it displayed a fantasy version of the Beatles' lives in which they all lived together in a groovy connected townhouse flat that had grass as carpet in one section and a neat bed compartment sunken floor that John slept in, it has moments of comic surrealism like when Paul McCartney is shrunken to cigarette size ("The Adventures Of Paul On The Floor" the subtitle calls it), and has a silly James Bond spoofing plot that doesn't matter at all. If you haven't seen HELP! it's one to put in your Netflix queue or on your Amazon wish list - if you have seen it before you should really re-discover it now because of how splendid this new remaster looks and how funny it still is. Or you could wait a few years 'til the next reissue or whatever the new format's version of it will be.

Post Note: Another bonus that this new DVD set has is an essay in its booklet by Martin Scorsese. He writes "Everyone was experimenting around this time. Antonioni with BLOWUP, Truffaut with FAHRENHEIT 451, Fellini and Godard with every movie - and HELP! was just as exciting." I would've never thought to put Richard Lester's work on HELP! in that class but if Marty says it is - it is.

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WILD HOGS #1 - America Has Spoken

"This whole country's just like my flock of sheep!"
- Lonesome Rhodes (Andy Griffith) A FACE IN THE CROWD
(Dir. Elia Kazan, 1957)

WILD HOGS (Dir. Walt Becker, 2007) In the last few years there has been much op-ed piece and pundit speak about whether movie critics really matter any more. If we judge solely by the case of WILD HOGS the answer is a deafening “Hell NO!” This film, which was critically panned by practically everyone (it has a 15% approval rating = rotten on the Tomatometer), was the #1 movie for several weeks when it opened earlier this year even staying in the top ten 13 weeks after its release! It was the #1 DVD in sales upon release and rentals (now it's #3) and the #1 download right now online according to iTunes. It’s like it’s giving the finger to every movie critic ever! So yeah, I had to see for myself – I couldn’t take anybody’s word for it. I put it in my Netflix queue and naturally it came up “Very Long Wait” which made me feel even more ashamed to giving in to what I knew was going to be an atrocious experience.

And boy was it! Another depressed yuppies take to the road in an attempt to re-boot their stale lives – see CITY SLICKERS get their GROOVE BACK by way of EASY RIDER and LOST IN AMERICA. Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence, and the really slumming it William H. Macy are the motorcycle crew here – they face off with real bikers led by Ray Liotta while Macy falls for Marissa Tomei. That’s about all of what happens here unless you want to count the endless stopping to go to the bathroom jokes and all the homophobic humor especially embodied in a gay cop (Scrubs’ John C. McGinley) who may be the most offensive character in a movie comedy in a long time. I didn’t think one second of this film was funny – I didn’t even smile at the Peter Fonda cameo (especially as it is such a contrived walk-on). With its base, broad and just plain boring kind of comedy WILD HOGS is the movie equivalent of pig slop but I know, my opinion doesn’t matter - as Stephen Colbert says "the market has spoken".

Post Note : There has been much speculation that a significant percentage of the gross of WILD HOGS was from teenagers who bought tickets to it and then attended 300 but that doesn't explain the DVD and download numbers. Maybe it's a Red States thing.

More later...