Kissing Off KISS KISS BANG BANG

"Were you at the cinema? Did you go to the the cinema? 'Cause I went to the movies."
- Shane Black questioning Val Kilmer on the commentary for KISS KISS BANG BANG

Yep- that's the only flick I've seen since my last post. So here goes :

KISS KISS BANG BANG (Dir. Shane Black, 2005) Its title comes from a phrase coined by an Italian newspaper critic in 1962 referring to James Bond: "Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" and the whole tone of this movie is just that self consciously hip - well smartass really. It even has a detective film type voice over by Robert Downey Jr. of the smarmy variety (Man, ROMEO IS BLEEDING did the "hey, wait I'm getting a little ahead of myself" fractured narration so much better!) and a convoluted plot which is annoyingly a homage to Raymond Chandler (like what LA crime caper isn't?) it even quotes the man directly in sequence heading titles. There is some good work here in both the writing and acting - Val Kilmer as Gay Perry (that name is not an example of good work in the writing - just to be clear) makes the smarm work for him and Michelle Monaghan amusingly plays with her lines just like her character toys with her men. Its just that the whole thing is so drenched in smartass sarcasm that it made me think repeatedly "this movie is sooo ten years ago!" George Burns once said "the secret of acting is sincerity. If you can fake that, you've got it made." Wish Shane Black had learned to fake a little better on this project.

Now here's an email I got from a filmbabble reader about my last post :

"I don't know...the Silverman thing? some of it's funny but there's a line between being funny and just being an arsehole. But I guess that's pretty much all comedy. I guess i don't know which side i'm on. Like that lemonade joke, pretty damn funny, mighty clever, but i feel like there's no real empathy or anything to give it weight; just an easy joke.

Actually really looking forward to Superman, don't really know why. Haven't kept up with it in years. hey, ever accidentally lock your keys in your...motorcycle? Now see, that's sharp and empathetic -who hasn't been there?

Sorry,
Drunk

Thanks Drunk for your comments. Keep on reading Film Babble Blog!

More later...

A Slew Of Reviews...

"I don't really care for movies; they make everything seem so close up. "
- Macon Leary THE ACCIDENTAL TOURIST (Dir. Lawrence Kasdan, 1988)

Well Summer is officially here and it looks like its going to be an especially lame movie season - I mean except for SNAKES ON A PLANE, right? Don't get me wrong - I'm gonna give SUPERMAN RETURNS a chance and I'm pysched like crazy about A SCANNER DARKLY but otherwise we're wading in crap like MIAMI VICE, pointless sequels like FAST AND THE FURIOUS : TOYKO DRIFT and CLERKS II (why is Kevin Smith going back to that particular well now?!!?) - I mean last summer I thought we all learned something from fiascos like THE DUKES OF HAZZARD and BEWITCHED. Aren't you glad I linked all those titles to their IMDB webpage in case you didn't know what movie I was talking about?

My little local hometown theater the Varsity and its sister theater the Chelsea now has a webpage :

http://www.chelseavarsity.com/

I work there part time mainly for the free movies and of course am happiest when we have movies playing that I like. Now playing at the Varsity are 2 movies I like :

AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH (Dir. Davis Guggenheim) Al Gore's well honed powerpoint global warming lecture spiffed up a bit with dazzling graphics and swift editing has amazingly become a sure-fire summer hit and a definite must see on the big screen. It is compelling and completely convincing material even living up to the movie poster's tag-line "by far the most terrifying film you will ever see". Funnily enough on the same poster the movie's rating PG-13 is given for "mild thematic elements". The only thing that sucks about this movie is the God awful Melissa Etheridge song that plays over the end credits.

A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION (Dir. Robert Altman) Garrison Keillor's long running old timey radio show is embroidered with Altman (MASH, THE LONG GOODBYE, SHORT CUTS , THE PLAYER, GOSFORD PARK, countless other masterpieces) trademarks - an always moving camera even in simple close-up shots and everybody talking at once - that's right overlapping dialogue city! Good performances by the likes of Kevin Kline, Meryl Streep, Lily Tomlin, Virginia Madsen, John C. Reilly, Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones, Maya Rudolph, etc. all make up for the blank spot on the screen that is Lindsay Lohan's appearance. I never listened to the Lake Wobegon deal on the radio and was very cynical going in but this somehow worked for me.

Now some DVDS I've seen lately :

THE NEW WORLD (Dir. Terrence Mallick) Mallick is a film director legend despite having only made like 4 or 5 pictures in like 40 years. This re-telling (or more accurately re-imagining) of the Pocahontas/John Smith romance circa 1607 is beautifully shot. Mallick's camera appears to be in love with Q'Orianka Kilcher (never named outloud in the movie as Pocahontas) whose sunbathed dances make for some mighty fine visuals. As for the men in her life - Colin Ferell does his arrogant angst thing while Christian Bale puts in a nice accepting guy appeal in the third act. Looking on the message boards on the IMDb I'm aware that many many people hate this film - comments like "This film was also terribly edited, bizarrely cast, and just generally pathetic. People say they like this film in a simple attempt to feel elite." Man! I think it is worthwhile to see. The fight scene when the Powhatan attack Jamestown has a greater realism and artfullness to it than similiar multi-party fight scenes in Scorsese's GANGS OF NEW YORK and Oliver Stone's Colin Ferell atrocity ALEXANDER. And it doesn't make me feel elite to say so.

TRANSAMERICA (Dir. Duncan Tucker) A transexual road comedy! Move over Crosby and Hope! Sorry - this is earnest acted and presented just a bit too conventional for my tastes. Felicity Huffman moves respectedly away from TV work (Desperate Housewives, Frasier, West Wing, etc.) to give a finely tuned portrayal of a pre-operative transsexual who finds out he/she fathered a son (Kevin Zegers). If only this wasn't drenched in will-they-bond /won't-they road movie cliches - one can see the ending coming less than a third in.

"When God gives you AIDS - and God does give you AIDS, by the way - make lemonAIDS."
- Sarah Silverman

SARAH SILVERMAN : JESUS IS MAGIC (Dir. Liam Lynch) After toiling on the sidelines the last decade (appearances on Seinfeld, SNL, Mr. Show, and notably unfunny unrepresentive movie appearances like SCHOOL OF ROCK) Sarah Silverman makes good on stealing the ARISTOCRATS from everyone in comedy to be the star attraction in this part stand-up / part musical sketch film. I really wished they stayed with the straight-on stand up performance. The other bits - unfortunately including a cringing Bob Odenkirk as manager bit - don't work and disrupt and distract from the many funny lines like :

"The best time to have a baby is when you're a black teenager."

and

"I love you more than my after show monster bong hit"

That's right - shes far from PC. Reminds me of Letterman years ago repeatedly saying "know my theory on Madonna? She loves to shock." Silverman's take on done-to-death stereotypes is almost too obvious at times - I mean singing a plucky "you're gonna die soon" song to a room full of old people, come on! - but still very funny.

More later...

A Big Lebowski Sleep-Over

"I guess that's the way the whole durned human comedy keeps perpetuatin' itself."
- The Stranger (Sam Elliot) THE BIG LEBOWSKI (Dir. Joel Coen, 1998)

A few weeks back I went with some friends to a BIG LEBOWSKI party. Of course there was plenty of White Russian drinking (everyone it seems had brought Kahlua, milk and vodka) and individualized drinking games - I myself drinking to every time "the rug tied the room together". The hosts had a bevy of t-shirts with quotes from the film like "The Dude abides", "mark it zero" and "Lebowski Urban Acheiver". I was disappointed there wasn't one for "you mean coitus?"

Anyway they had a DVD projector and it was great to see the movie on a big screen again. At the beginning of the movie when the Dude (Jeff Bridges) makes out a check to Ralph's grocery store for 69 cents it is notable that the date on the check is Sept. 11th 1991. Especially since he pauses while writing it to glance up at President Bush Sr. on a wall mounted TV monitor saying "this aggression will not stand" in reference to the Gulf War.

Just a coincidence and not a prophecy, sure but I was watching THE BIG SLEEP (Dir. Howard Hawkes, 1946) the other day and noticed that at the beginning that detective Phillip Marlowe (Humprey Bogart) while reviewing his newest case is handed an envelope of promissory notes with the date September 11th, 1945. The Coen brothers have admitted that big influences on THE BIG LEBOWSKI included the arguably classic in-every-way THE BIG SLEEP and the Robert Altman's 70's shaggy private dick Rip Van Marlowe mystery THE LONG GOODBYE so it makes perfect sense.

More later...

Charleen Swansea: The Film Babble Blog Interview

"Could you turn it off? This is important. This is not art, this is life!"
- Charleen Swansea SHERMAN'S MARCH (Dir. Ross McElwee, 1986)

Hey folks - there has been a lot going on these days and I'll try to cover some of it in this here blog.

First off - I went to Greensboro this last weekend to emcee the 2006 Spring Tribute/Cover Show at the FLYING ANVIL. It was a good time and we raised a lot of money for the Guilford County Animal Shelter. I told the audience "we've got punk, we've got hardcore, we've got slacker rock, we've got shoe-gazing, we've got no-wave. We've got something for every nobody!"

My friend Tracy said if I was a Simpsons character I'd be "lowly benefit MC".

I'll post photos from the show and other tid-bits in a future post. Thanks to all that came out and made he event a rousing success. Ah, good times.

Being a lover of local film making and documentaries I was elated about the recent release of a DVD boxset of the work of Ross McElwee. I thought it would be a good occasion to have a chat with Charleen Swansea. She was funny and feisty as ever as she discussed her role in Ross's films, her experiences with such luminaries as Ezra Pound and Albert Einstein, and her new film project LIVING HISTORIANS.

DAN: With the release of this DVD box set what stands out the most to you looking back at those films?

CHARLEEN SWANSEA: I loved watching Ross evolve into his style. Kind of the like the TV series that Alfred Hitchcock had. It would come on and show Alfred Hitchcock and the shape of his profile and then he would slowly walk into it. I felt like that was what I watched Ross do. He walked into his own profile.

SIX O'CLOCK NEWS and TIME INDEFINITE,were originally one film. Ross knew what he was working on was getting much too long but he was so in to what he was discovering as he continued to film that he just kept going and looking at what was coming up. It felt right and so he just kept filming, thinking I'll sort it out later.

When I said to him, I think this is getting too long he answered "no this isn't long enough". He turned out to be right and he got 2 really fine films. They are of a piece to me because Ross comes out of the closet with his own spirituality in those 2 films. He lets go and lets you see what he is really made of. He's a sentimental spiritual man who also happens to be a film genius. The style he found is something no film maker tried before. It is such an insightful and appealing style that everybody wants to try recording their “personal history” now.

D: I rewatched SHERMAN'S MARCH yesterday and I loved the fact that your great line – "this is not art its life" is the name of a chapter heading on the DVD.

CS: Ross quotes that a lot - frequently when I see him.

D: In that scene and others in that movie you seemed genuinely annoyed at him having the camera on so much.

CS: Well I was! So was his father. You see that in TIME INDEFINITE. Dr. McElwee is on the phone talking urgently about a patients care. When he hangs up he sees Ross who has been watching through the camera lens all the while he was talking about saving somebody's life or cutting somebody open or something serious and there is Ross, just watching while his father in exasperation says "I'll be glad when that big eye is out of here."

Thank God his father, whom Ross adored and I did too, lived long enough…you know he died suddenly of a heart attack while driving in the snow. It was devastating for the family but he lived long enough that came to admire what Ross was doing and to tell him so.

There was a lot of pressure on Ross as an adolescent boy. He is the first born son in a large family. He was expected to become a surgeon like his father. His brother Tommy did do that. And there was another boy. Did you know that?

D: No, I was unaware.

CS: Nobody talks about it much. The McElwee family with 4 kids would go on the weekends to the lake. They went swimming, diving off the dock. One day a speed boat came by and cut one of the boys in half. Dr. McElwee was there. So was Ross. And the mother they adored. She grieved and then came down with cancer. Nobody spoke of the connection but many thought the loss killed her. That pain played like a cello in Ross’s growing up and I think of it sometimes watching the films. I can feel the wounds in Ross’s heart. And I think sometimes that in his films that Ross is…trying to make things okay. They viewer senses that things are not okay.

D: Trying to make order out of chaos?

CS: You know Ross cares about the heart and soul of people. He is not always capable of taking care of details. When we were filming BRIGHT LEAVES we went to the Duke mansion where the film opened. We stayed there an hour and a half then we went to his house which I call "Buck Duke's outhouse" and when we left, I don't remember where we were going, to Raleigh or someplace. 20 minutes down the road Ross said "you know I left the soundtrack for the film on the column outside the Duke Mansion".

In SHERMAN'S MARCH he is talking to the camera and he steps backward and disappears. He actually stepped back ward into a river! He chose the scene for its beauty but then, talking to the audience and forgot where he was and went down.

D: (Laughs) Yes, that's a great moment.

CS: He's a klutz. He's incurable. He's inept in a lot of ways. But one reason he's inept is because he believes what is really important is making things right in his own heart and mind and with his own family, with his Grandma, with black people, with violence in the world. I mean he really is after doing something about it! That's why I love and admire him no matter what he steps into or loses. Ross leads with his heart and completely trust his intuition.

D: When you've talked before about being embarrassed about the material in CHARLEEN, it's notable that there many embarrassing moments for Ross in his movies where it is amazing to me that he left some of the stuff in – the conquests of the girls in SHERMAN'S MARCH…

CS: There's no conquest! He never had one conquest!

D: Not a conquest then but his trying to talk one woman into being in a relationship with him.

CS: Yeah right, that was pitiful wasn't it?

D: Sometimes I look back at my life and feel like its nothing but one embarrassing episode after another and it seems that there's the truth in art – to show that and not be afraid. Yeah that's who I am. That's what I get. I was so amused by the weird Burt Reynolds bit in SHERMAN'S MARCH.

CS: Wasn't that funny? That was so funny.

D: So Ross is trying to break through the barriers to get Burt's take on concepts like masculinity in the South. I mean he's on the set of a redneck car race movie, I doubt he'll be Mr. Insight and have much to say on that. It was so amusing to me that he would be going after that angle at all.

CS: Well you know Ross is really an intellectual. We don't think about that because we don't see it. His ineptness and his being embarrassed and what you're saying about him is all true. And it is amusing to all of us – we think "thank God that's not me". While the movies are playing we don’t see the strength of his intellect. However, one of the most exciting intellectual conversations that I've ever had in my life (and remember I've had conversations with Einstein, Bucky Fuller, and Ezra Pound) was with Ross. We were going to Ocracoke to shoot that scene in which my sister had just been buried. The ferry ride took 5 hours. On the way over Ross and I sat together and he told me about what he thought BRIGHT LEAVES might take as a direction. Not what it was about because that's not the way he works. It might be this and it might look at that and it might...and he threw on the table all different kinds of ideas as if they were children's building blocks – blue and green and red and purple and there were a couple of yellow bridges. Remember those blocks from when we were kids? I said "you have more than you want to use in front of you because if you use them all it is really going to be complicated." But Ross seemed determined to use ALL of those ideas that it took 5 hours to bring up and speculate about. He was determined to find the way that it all fit together, to discover the relevance of each of the many parts. And darned if he didn't do it !! When I saw BRIGHT LEAVES for the first time I wanted to stand up and cheer. But is was so overcome by surprised and amazement at what he had accomplished, and I was so proud of him that all I could do was to cry. I had heard his thinking out loud about so many of those ideas and now here they were put together in a profound way. A way that is also includes humor and a depth of intellect and emotion. I thought Ross had made something like a 3 dimensional puzzles of Chartres or the Louvre. Something really complex with flying buttresses at every side and spires and bells.

D: You think BRIGHT LEAVES is Ross's most fully realized film?

CS: Yes. By the time he's making BRIGHT LEAVES he's the Jack and the Beanstalk giant and he's striding across the terrain. Given that a dog is nipping at his heels as he walks.

D: Do you still think Ezra Pound is the greatest teacher of the 20th century like you said some 20 odd years ago?

CS: Yes. What he taught was sometimes crack pot and stupid but his methods were I think incredible. I've based my whole teaching life on what I learned from him while sitting in the yard at the insane asylum. That experience gives to rise all these metaphors about different color blocks. Pound never used that metaphor but it's a metaphor for what I saw him do. I turned it into building blocks and took a thousand of them to Hawaii where I was lecturing to an international conference on thinking skills. It changed my life – that idea and that conference and that metaphor. That's where I thought up my company called Mindworks.

D: How long has Mindworks been around?

CS: Danny I don't know because I've had so many careers. I've had 5 careers. I started as a publisher because I couldn't find my niche. At first I decided I wanted to be a ballerina and go to New York and be trained by George Ballenchine and then my dance instructor said "Charleen, that's wonderful but you do realize you have one leg that's an inch and a half shorter than the other and I don't think he'll take you honey". I tried to be a painter and I had no talent for it. Then I went on a voice scholarship to Westminster Choir College at Princeton and I wasn't there but a week until they moved me laterally into conducting class because my voice was "precious".

Because I couldn't figure out what I was going to do I ran away to Pound so he could make me famous and help me. While I watched Pound interact with creative ideas and people I figured that I wanted to do the same thing he id: Put things together. Synthesize! And that’s what I have done ever since. It’s like making a found sculpture. I can take pots and some pails and ribbon and dirt, a dictionary and a bunch of kids and make up something wonderful that will utilize ALL of those resources. That's what I do in CHARLEEN, I'm putting together a bunch of scraps. So when Ross decided to make a movie about me, it was because Ross and I have a lot in common. We're both synthesizers. We love the process of putting things together and we especially like it if the materials are complicated and difficult. That leads to surprises and sometimes to something beautiful or profound.

I can name a few people that do that and they all turn out to be people I'd admire very much. People like Marvin Minsky who at MIT works with Artificial Intelligence. He puts together metal and fur and batteries and other stuff and calls it a robot and tells us this is our future.

And Buckminster Fuller did that. Bucky said "no, no, no – you don't understand what an automobile is, it can have 3 wheels, one here, one here, one here. Its called the Dymaxion car – I invented it. I built one - here it is! " Okay let's go test it.” Went out in the street to test it and it ran over somebody. It was a fabulous car but there was an accident that ended the development of that fabulous idea right there on the street the first time they drove it. Buckminster Fuller was in love with architecture, design and mathematics.
And so am I.

D: Speaking of mathematics, how did you get in with Einstein?

CS: "Get in with him" doesn't seem right to me - I was just a little girl! I was 14 years old and I was conducting a choir and I didn't do it very well and Einstein laughed at me and I cried. He felt bad about that. He was a gentle, sensitive man. When I met him he was head of the Institute for Advanced Research . He had worked on the atomic bomb and he was suffering from regret and anxiety about developing such destructive power and anxiety over how it would be used. Everyday at lunchtime he would come to Westminster Choir College. 11:00 am was the time that the Conducting class took place in the Chapel. Einstein was sitting in the back almost unseen. I was on stage standing on a box in front of the choir. I was not doing it well and when the students laughed at my clumsiness, I heard Einstein laughing at the back and sat down on the box to cry. The bells for lunch began to ring and the chapel emptied of everyone but me and Einstein who, with his cane walked to the front to comfort me. He told me how he loved Bach, and explained to me that music was a lot like math. I realized that he was the person who had been playing the music I listened to everyday at lunchtime. Many students would sit on the grass outside the chapel eating sandwiches and listening to the music of Bach and Handel that was coming from the chapel organ. I remember thinking that the person who was playing did it like I did it like I did it: more with his heart than his fingers. I later was told that it was the very famous Dr. Einstein and that he was also a excellent violinist. I also knew that he was very kind. After I messed up at conducting, he said, "Let's go outside for a walk. It is a beautiful day and – I want to show you something." We went along the hedge leading into the town and suddenly he turned to point his cane at a large black spider, a writing spider – in the middle of a white web with yellow zig zagging lines. “It’s horrible I said.” “No, no. It’s wonderful and it’s writing something".

"What's he writing? I can't read it."

We watched for a while before I asked “Can you read it? What does it say?”
“No, I can not read it.”

“Then why is he doing it? Can anybody read it? Can we learn how to read it?

"Yes, yes. One day we will be able to read it."

Then he seemed to start thinking about something else.

He walked off and got on a bicycle – a girl's small pink bicycle.

After he died and for years now I have kept in my office a poster of Einstein riding a bicycle. And I think often about how music and math and spiders are connected in many ways. Einstein was the first man whose mind I admired. There have been others since: Ezra Pound, Buckminster Fuller, Marvin Minsky, and now Ross became one of them after I saw BRIGHT LEAVES. Gentleman genius is how I think of them all, and what a privilege it is for me to have had them as mentors.

D: What can you tell me about the film project you are working on now?

CS: It's about war and I don't know why I'm working on it because I'm a Quaker!

D: Well it's most likely not pro-war, right?

CS: It is a re-enactment of what life was like on the Battleship North Carolina. There are still a few veterans of World War II who have not died yet! The name of this film is LIVING HISTORIANS. The historians are going to be a couple of kids – my Grandkids! They will be interviewing these old gentlemen who are 80 years and older. I think this will provide a lively viewpoint. The children will cut to the heart of things by asking questions like: Were you afraid? Which was your gun and can I shoot it? Raven, my 11 year old grand daughter will probably want an explanation of why there were no women allowed on the ship. No, it will not celebrate war. But neither are we going after this topic in order to prove something. It is going to be a real Documentary film, an investigation and report, unlike Michael Moore’s work in which he sets out to prove a conclusion he came to before he films.

I'm excited about it. My daughter-in-law Cyndi is going to be running the camera – I'm the producer/photographer, and all husbands and children are the actors and working crew. Cyndi is passionate about history, my husband Mark’s father flew helicopters in the Vietnam War, and Mark himself is a former officer in a nuclear submarine that served during the Cold War. We have all gotten has gotten very interested in the many people and groups that are putting together “re-Enactments” of the Civil War, the history of other wars and regions and monuments and cultures in order to make history come alive. It seems peculiar to me that people take seriously dressing up like King Arthur's Round table and rehearse shows where they run at each other with bayonets and shields and garbage cans on their head. Our “LIVING HISTORY” crew wants to learn what kind of people would do that? Why do they spend so much money on their costumes? Making replicas of whole towns that are gone now. Is it important to keep history alive. Can we do it and take it as “recreation?”

This coming week end is Re-enactment day at the Battleship North Carolina and that’s where we're going. One of the funniest things that has happened which charmed me into the project because I love projects that are funny…the funniest thing that has happened is that my husband Mark, who is a former commander of a nuclear submarine, was in the Navy and under the ocean for 7 years with his thumb on the red button that was pointed at Moscow from where he was stationed deep in the ocean, under the ice…when he goes back to the Battleship North Carolina he encounters a group of guys who have never done military service but want to play like they are doing it now! However they are selective and have attitude. Few want to be a sailor in a “Dixie Cup” hat and Navy bell bottom pants. They prefer to wear the white uniforms of an Officer's uniforms. They must buy their authentic WWII Navy issue clothes which are not cheap or easy to come by so Mark picks up the “swab the decks version.” to wear in our movie. In fact Mark has already been to Wilmington twice to help clean the ship up for the important Memorial Day when we will be shooting the film. He has special value to us because he knows so much about what went on in Navy life. I don't know how else we would get some of the data that we hope will give an interesting perspective to this movie. Otherwise we would have to ask the re enactors: "were you on the ship? Were you in the Navy? No, no? - well anyhow, you look good!"

More later...

Basic Instinct 2 Blues

"Its always easier to be nice to people when you don't have to see them." - Claire Fisher (Lauren Ambrose) Six Feet Under


A few weeks ago after seeing the poster for BASIC INSTINCT 2 in the lobby of the theater I work at part-time I tried to talk the owner out of showing it. He grumbled and mumbled something about never seeing the first one. I went into a comical tirade against the first movie and the absolute idiotic existence of a sequel - cutting and pasting from the late great comedian Bill Hicks's rant over a decade ago :

"But you know I saw this movie this year called last year called er, 'Basic Instinct'. Okay now. Bill's quick capsule review: Piece-of-Shit. Okay now. Yeah, yeah, end of story by the way. Don't get caught up in that fevered hype phony fucking debate about that Piece-of-Shit movie. "Is it too sexist, and what about the movies, are they becoming too..." You're, you're just confused, you don't get, you've forgotten how to judge correctly. Take a deep breath huuh, look at it again. "Oh it's a Piece-of-Shit!" Exactly, that's all it is. Satan squatted, let out a loaf, they put a fucking title on it, put it on a marquee, Satan's shit, piece of shit, walk away. "But is it too, what about the lesbian connotations..." You're, you're getting really baffled here. Piece-of-Shit! Now walk away. That's all it is, it's nothing more! Horrible film. And then I come to find out after that film. that all the lesbian sex scenes, let me repeat that, all the lesbian sex scenes were cut out of that film, because the test audience was turned off by them. Ha. Boy, is my thumb not on the pulse of America.

I don't want to seem like Randy Pan, the Goat Boy, but er that was the only reason I went to that piece of shit. If I had been in that test audience, the only one out front protesting that film would have been Michael Douglas demanding his part be put back in, alright? "I swear I was in that movie. I swear I was." "Gee Mike, the movie started. Sharon Stone was eating another woman for an hour and a half. Then the credits rolled. I err, I don't remember seeing your scrawny ass, Mike." "Was Bill Hicks in that test audience?" - Bill Hicks (1961-1994)

Well our theater owner ignored my pleas and a few days ago I had to put the dreaded letters up on the marquee. I joked with my co-workers about putting up "SHARON STONE'S MID-LIFE CRISIS". Friday the film opened and barely anyone came. I walked into work on saturday and the owner said "you were right. Dead on arrival." Thats one of the nicer things said about the movie - "Botoxic" says New York Post writer Kyle Smith. He goes on to say "BASIC INSTINCT 2" is not an erotic thriller. It's taxidermy." The word desperate comes up in a number of reviews funnily enough. I didn't gloat about being right - its a no-brainer I think to anyone reading this knew that the movie would suck and flop. Some day it'll be nothing than an entry on one of those "Celebrity Oops" list shows on like VH1 or that damn E channel.

More later...

Recent Raves

Chow Mo-wan (Tony Leung Chiu Wai) : In the old days, if someone had a secret they didn't want to share... you know what they did?
Ah Ping (Ping Lam Siu) : Have no idea.
Chow Mo-wan : They went up a mountain, found a tree, carved a hole in it, and whispered the secret into the hole. Then they covered it with mud. And leave the secret there forever.
Ah Ping : What a pain! I'd just go to get laid.
Chow Mo-wan : Not everyone's like you.
- IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE (Dir. Kar Wei Wong, 2000)

Again sorry for not posting for a bit - I've been too busy working 2 jobs to see many movies lately. Now I have a little time to write so I thought I'd babble 'bout not just movies but some music, books and other whatnot that I've been digging lately in a post I call :

Recent Raves - Film, music, and other whatnot
(or things that have kept me alive lately)

WAL-MART : THE HIGH COST OF LOW PRICE (Dir. Robert Greenwald - 2005) This may be full of information most already know (small long owned businesses being destroyed when a Walton family owned monstrosity rolls into town, scores of people who are on welfare while being employed by Wal-Mart, repeated crimes in their security-free parking-lots, etc) but Greenwald's heartbreaking documentary makes a convincing case that there may not be anything but EVIL at that discount superstore monopoly. Without much polish - no glitzy graphics or snappy soundtrack - this flick particularly got to me because the company I work for does some of the same shit. The movie is not all depressing doom - it does end on a hopeful note and the parody commercials are great :

Betty Johnson (Susie Geiser) - I'm Betty and I'm a Wal-Mart associate. I love working at Wal-Mart! I love that they pay me less than min. (minimum wage) because that means I can't afford to eat as much and I get to keep my figure!"

SNAKES ON A PLANE-Mania Internet Style : This hilariously titled upcoming Samuel L. Jackson action flick has created a flurry of web activity - satirical trailers (I actually can't tell the spoofs from the real thing - in fact I don't know if the poster image to the left is real or a joke), excited fan blogs, and even a promotional campaign that involves a songwriting contest - a winner get to have their homemade song on the soundtrack. I'm sure the premise of hundreds of venomous snakes set loose on a plane to kill someone testifying in a mafia case will inspire many a young starving musician. Apparently the movie had some re-shoots in which they added a line the Internet Movie Database says is expected to take on cult status:

Neville Flynn (Samuel L. Jackson): "I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!"

That's a badass line, sure. I'm just wondering if Jackson will say as he has in so many movies "this is some repugnant shit!" In fact I'm betting on it.

If you haven't checked out the suberb site YOUTUBE you really should. Where else can you get William Shatner's riveting interpretion of Elton John's Rocketman , this great live-action version of the Simpsons opening done to promote the Simpsons syndication in Britain, and an archive of TV performances from the Kinks, Iggy Pop, the Specials, Funkadelic, and many other previously uncirculated goodies. My favorite find is the rare footage of 4 members of Monty Python appearing on a Texas PBS station in 1975. Recently discovered after being shelved for 30 years its unfortunately short (only 14 minutes because an engineer taped over the last bit) but a treat indeed to see.

Wilco @ Memorial Hall, March 5th and 6th 2006: I never thought Wilco, who I consider the best band RIGHT NOW, would play at Memorial Hall here in Chapel Hill - the same venue that hosted a historic 1954 Louis Armstrong concert and where I saw Mel Blanc speak when I was a kid (still have the autographed picture that he handed me while doing his most famous voice - Bugs Bunny : "here you go Doc") So of course I had to attend both nights. The place had been renovated in the last year or so and the acoustics were fantastic.

The first night while singing "Hummingbird" Tweedy scooped a young girl (obviously the daughter of fan parents in the front row) out of the audience and held her without losing the song's flow at all. A wonderful moment. It was to his credit that he didn't try the same thing the next night - he knew you can't turn some spontaneous connection into some show biz move.

"Is any song worth singing if it doesn't help?" Jeff Tweedy's sad-sack vocals beautifully etched out their own precious place in the Hall as the melody stiftened during the opening song "Wishful Thinking" the second night. Despite his saying that the show would be the same even the banter - the whole setlist had been juggled around with less Summerteeth and a couple of new songs (I won't guess at the titles) were premiered.

I was elated to get recordings on disc of both shows from my friend Hook. The sound quality is sweet and to hear "She's A Jar", "The Good Part" and dusted off from the 1996 album Being There the charming as country- rock-can-get "Say You Miss Me" blaring from my stereo and filling up the walls of my house has really soothed a number of sleepless nights lately.

Kar Wai Wong's IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE and its bizarre follow-up 2046 I had been meaning to see IN THE MOOD... for a long time and the occasion of the release of its somewhat sequel 2046 announced that now is the time. Chow Mo-wan (Tony Leung) suspects his wife is having an affair with the husband of his neighbor Su Li-zhen Chan (Maggie Cheung). They form a friendship and a unique relationship develops. An achingly lyrical film that stayed with me for days.

2046 is as complicated as its title. Its a hotel room number, it is the last year before Hong Kong would be completely absorbed by mainland Chinese rule, and probably most important it is the name of a science fiction martial arts story that Chow Mo-wan is working on. Less poetic than its successor, disjointed and definitely too long 2046 is still worthwhile - incredible visuals, touching acting, and an unimposing soundtrack make it a fine companion piece.

More soon...

The Film Babble Blog Top Ten Movies Of 2005

What with the Oscar nominations being announced last week, the Golden Globes, and all them magazine lists I figured it was high time I get off my ass and update this blog and list :

Film Babble Blog's Top Ten Movies Of 2005

01 PALINDROMES (Dir. Todd Solondz) Though ignored when first released and completely forgotten this awards season I believe this film will leave more of a mark on movie lover's psyches in years to come than crap like CRASH. Although not a sequel to WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE Solondz sets this in the same world with Weiner family values, white trash ethics, and plenty of good ole character assassination fun!

02 MARCH OF THE PENGUINS (Dir. Luc Jacquet) Yes it's a documentary that could play any night on PBS with little fanfare and it's a simple premise and all. but what a film-matic treat any way you look at it! And yes I just simply love penguins. It's about time they had a movie. Okay?!!?

03 CAPOTE (Dir. Bennett Miller) One of the few deserving Oscars this year went to Philip Seymour Hoffman for his dead-on portrayal in this moving movie - respectful to the times and the crime yet unforgiving and brutal to the man in the spotlight.

04 THE SQUID AND THE WHALE (Dir. Noah Baumbach) Divorce 80's style with parents played by Jeff Daniels and Laura Linney and their troubled offspring (Jesse Eisenberg and Owen Kline) - harsh but sharp with a great soundtrack (Loudon Wainwright III, Bert Jansch, and the plagiarized Pink Floyd).

05 NO DIRECTION HOME (Dir. Martin Scorsese) It was only given a small theatrical release in LA and NY but this long awaited Dylan at his prime powerhouse may be the finest rock doc ever. Period.

06 SARABAND (Dir. Igmar Bergman) Made for Swedish TV in 2003 this updating of SCENES FROM A MARRIAGE (again, not a sequel) finds Johann (Erland Josephson) and Marianne (Liv Ullman) re-uniting after 30 years to look back over their tortured existence. Johann : "I've ransacked My past now that I have the answer sheet". Heavy, man.

07 ME AND YOU AND EVERYONE WE KNOW (Dir. Miranda July) Quirky but not cloying...and funny too.

08 WALLACE AND GROMMIT : THE CURSE OF THE WERE RABBIT (Dir. Steve Box & Nick Park)

09 HEAD ON (Dir. Fatih Akin)

10 ENRON (Dir. Alex Gibney) Another damn documentary but such a damn neccessary one.

More later...